


Why Tony does his Shopping Online

by arianapeterson19



Series: Avengers Shorts [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Grocery Shopping, Humor, Never take Tony shopping, just no, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 03:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4123983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianapeterson19/pseuds/arianapeterson19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It really wasn't the Avengers fault that it happened, Rhodey should have told them never to take Tony shopping. Right. Let's go with that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Tony does his Shopping Online

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at humor. Because....you know, if I'm not allowed back in a certain store because of antics, neither is Tony!

In hindsight, it wasn't Natasha's brightest idea to bring Tony to the store with her. As usual, she. Had to learn the hard way the reason Tony did most of his shopping online.

"No, Tony, you can't eat that yet," said Natasha for the fifth time.

"I'm hungry," whined Tony. "Why do we have to be here?"

"Because Thor ate all of your Pop Tarts and Steve ate everything else in the kitchen."

"Then why didn't you make them come with you? They are the ones that should be punished, not me!"

Natasha roller her eyes while biting back a retort that explained how she was the one being punished by having to out up with a whiney, board Tony Stark. Unfortunately, after his breakup with Pepper, Tony had shut himself in his lab, forcing the other Avengers to take turns dragging him out. It was her turn and she had thought shopping would be a simple enough task.

"Hey Nat!" yelled Tony, running up to her with a bag full of water and six goldfish. "Do you think these come with chips?"

"Put the fish back, Stark," growled Natasha.

"So is that a no for them coming with chips?" asked Tony, looking disappointed. "Because I'm sure we could buy the chips separate. We can't have fish without chips."

With a heavy sigh, Natasha rubbed her temples, silently vowing to never bring Tony shopping again. Before she could voice the fact aloud, however, Tony was off again, exploring the store.

Tony had been unnaturally excited when Natasha had entered his workshop earlier demanding that he come shopping with her. It had been years since anyone had allowed him near an actual store but, being Tony Stark, he had to complain and pretend he wasn't happy about the boring task of shopping. Once in the store, he had managed to keep up the charade for almost five whole minutes, mainly because he kept munching on food from the cart and putting the price stickers on his jacket. Still, the moment Natasha had her back turned, he was off.

Before he found the fish, he had gone down the toy aisle. There he had located an Easy Bake Oven and, realizing that the incompetent fools who ran the store had made a grievous mistake, had taken the oven to the grill section and left it between a stainless steel grill and a tiny one man grill. Next, he found the fish and when he saw the fish, he wanted fish and chips like his Aunt Peggy used to make him. But Natasha, being the fun sucker that she was, shot down his idea, even though he had made sure to get one fish for every Avenger.

After that, Tony went down the breakfast food aisle to grad Pop Tarts. That was when he spotted the fiber cereal, sitting on the shelf between the marshmallow fruity cereal and the nasty oat meal with not flavor and less appeal bin. It was like trying to avoid a sirens call and that was how Natasha found him ten minutes later, standing in front of a mannequin that held a box of fiber cereal in one plastic hand, was wearing an adult diaper over its black pants, and holding what sounded like an in depth conversation with the thing.

"Tony, we're checking out, come on," said Natasha, opting not to comment on the strange state she found the billionaire.

Everything went well with the checkout process, Tony insisted on saying beep every time something was scanned, but otherwise it was fine, until Tony himself climbed onto the conveyer belt.

"What the hell are you doing, Stark?" demanded Natasha, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"I was hungry," replied Tony with a shrug. "I ate some food while I was here. No worries, I stuck the price tags on my jacket so you, fine wench, may feel free to check me out."

Natasha groaned, the checkout girl blushed, and Tony beamed; he had been dying to use that double line since he arrived at the store.

"That is it!" growled Natasha when they finally arrived back at the tower with the food, the other Avengers all waiting in the kitchen for them. "I'm making a new rule right now. Tony is never allowed to go to the store ever again. I'm going to go shot something."

Steve, Bruce, Thor, and Clint all stared after Natasha as she stormed out, then turned their surprised looks onto Tony.

"I think I broke her," shrugged Tony. "But the could have all been avoided if she had just let me get the damn fish and chips."


End file.
